Quiz: How Trumpy Are You?

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Professional month-old cheese impersonator Donald Trump has taken this year’s election cycle by storm. His countless admirers are wowed by the businessman-turned-reality-star-turned-satire-of-the-U.S.-election-process’ tough talk, which to date has been gloriously unhindered by trivial bullshit like truth or logic.

But not just anyone can be The Donald — it takes a very special skill set. Take this quiz to determine, “How Trumpy Are You?”

A waiter brings you the wrong entrée. You should:
1. Say nothing. After all, it's good to try new things.
2. Demand your proper meal be brought immediately, and at no charge.
3. Eat your waiter.
A television reporter asks you a debate question you don't like. You should:
1. Blame the question on her period (if she is a woman).
2. Blame the question on his period (if he is a man).
3. Set fire to Ted Cruz and roll around in the ashes.
You incur an enormous cost building a wall on the Mexican border. You should:
1. Ask Mexico to pay for it.
2. Make Mexico pay for it.
3. Set fire to Ted Cruz and roll around in the ashes. Then make Mexico pay for it.
The entire world thinks your hair is ridiculous. You should:
1. Change it to something the entire world won't mock.
2. Keep it, because you are a brave, confident individual.
3. Invest millions of dollars of someone else’s money in a doomed chain of hair salons called Trump Mane, then later insist it was a success.
Another politician implies your small hands means you have a small penis, then explicitly states you're a liar. You should:
1. Stay above such trash talk and focus on the issues.
2. Be strident in making sure the voters know you are both trustworthy and honest.
3. Go on national television and assure voters of the greatness of your wang for two and a half hours, while tackling no other issues whatsoever.
While negotiating a real estate deal, your adversary lowballs you. You should:
1. Walk away from the deal.
2. Play the waiting game — you’re smarter than them, you’ll win in the end.
3. Try to strangle them with your tiny baby fingers.
You're torturing a poodle with a power drill, as is your practice every Wednesday, when you suddenly remember today is Tuesday. You should:
1. Stop immediately.
2. Finish the job, and take Wednesday off.
3. Pick up an extra poodle on the campaign trail for tomorrow.

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Quiz: How Trumpy Are You?

A waiter brings you the wrong entrée. You should:

A television reporter asks you a debate question you don't like. You should:

You incur an enormous cost building a wall on the Mexican border. You should:

The entire world thinks your hair is ridiculous. You should:

Another politician implies your small hands means you have a small penis, then explicitly states you're a liar. You should:

While negotiating a real estate deal, your adversary lowballs you. You should:

You're torturing a poodle with a power drill, as is your practice every Wednesday, when you suddenly remember today is Tuesday. You should:

You are: Trumpesque

You are: Trumpish

You are: Trumpylicious